You've got to fight for the one you love

I used to watch coverage of awards shows and always be amazed that some of the actors/musicians had been in long-term relationships, whereas most of them seemed to only be able to have fairly short ones. I actually felt that the celebrities that did stick and work on their relationships had more integrity. And in a way, I still think that.

Romantic relationships are a funny thing. Although there are plenty of arguments on how love changes and advances or whether there is only one “the one” for each of us, the fact remains that relationships go through difficult times. Even the best relationships go through difficult times. And if you’re in that difficult time in a relationship, you are faced with a simple decision - do you work on the problems and try and get out of that difficult time, or do you end the relationship. Simply (and evolutionarily) put: fight or flight.

And in the bubble that celebrities live in, the idea of working hard to keep a relationship together might seem particularly unappealing considering that they no longer have to encounter other difficulties that everyone else has to deal with.

So why don’t I care as much anymore that some celebrities keep working at their relationships? Because they aren’t the ones sacrificing. Because the real people keeping the relationships going are the partners of the celebrities. The ones that are left at home and have to deal with the real world. The ones that aren’t separated from the person they love because they are chasing their own dreams, but because the person they love is chasing their dreams.

In just a year of being in a mildly successful band, this realisation has really hit home for me. Being away from home on a regular basis and spending most of my time at home working to earn a living has meant that my relationship with my wife has taken a back seat. And it has been a difficult year for our relationship, but we’re going to work through it.

This shouldn’t be seen as a swipe at people who have had relationships that ended, because its not. There are millions of legitimate reasons to end a relationship, but if its just because of a tough time, I think that most of the celebrities have it wrong. Relationships will be stronger when they have endured hardship. Just like when we are faced with personal struggles we recognise that they will make us better people once we have pulled through them.

You’ve got to fight for the one that you love.